Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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