So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
