Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
