Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
