Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize