Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
