so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
