So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
