Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
