Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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