Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
