Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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