Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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