Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize