Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
