If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
