she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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