Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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