I hate all girls vehemently.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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