You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
