I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
