You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
