I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
