I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
