u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
