i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
