I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
