Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
