one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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