I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
