what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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