if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
