So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
