Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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