Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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