you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
