Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
