If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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