How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
