I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
