Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
