Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
