Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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