Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
