So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
