I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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