So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
