Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
