i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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