i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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