I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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