That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
