um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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