I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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