do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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