no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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