She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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