That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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