Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
