I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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