There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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