Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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