Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
