i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
