am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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