you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
