Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what day is it and did you see me today?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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