I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
