ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i think my cat just said my name.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
