U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
