"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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