Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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