this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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