Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
