you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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