ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
