I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
