is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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