I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
