is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
