So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
